I love this new lifestyle ... I am crazy for Baby Doll ... ha we are no longer vanilla!!!
I take my new responsibilities extreamly seriously. Daddy, the final decision maker, the protector, the provider, the one person that makes Baby Doll truley happy, the one person she has entrusted everthing too. This is all I want to live for. Unfortunately, our in world we need to make money to survive ... so work takes my focus off Baby Doll ... and that is no good, especially when work is not going well. (working on plan to keep Baby Doll in my focus more ... fingers crossed).
I have been grumpy latley. I hate being grumpy around Baby Doll. That is not what she needs from me. There are times I feel I have not filled these shoes ... there is a learning curve for this daddy ... mostly how to juggle these strong emotions to make the world perfect for Baby Doll with the reality that our world is not perfect. It is hard for me to explain yet, but the best way is:
When Baby Doll is not smiling and generally not happy, I feel as though I have failed, I feel drained , I feel I need to find a fix for her now ... even if there is not a fix.
When Baby Doll is smiling and Bubbly, I feel confident, I feel energized, I feel like nothing can stop Baby Doll and me.
I love you Baby Doll .... change is on the way ... I promise .... then I will be able to punish you anytime!!!
I take my new responsibilities extreamly seriously. Daddy, the final decision maker, the protector, the provider, the one person that makes Baby Doll truley happy, the one person she has entrusted everthing too. This is all I want to live for. Unfortunately, our in world we need to make money to survive ... so work takes my focus off Baby Doll ... and that is no good, especially when work is not going well. (working on plan to keep Baby Doll in my focus more ... fingers crossed).
I have been grumpy latley. I hate being grumpy around Baby Doll. That is not what she needs from me. There are times I feel I have not filled these shoes ... there is a learning curve for this daddy ... mostly how to juggle these strong emotions to make the world perfect for Baby Doll with the reality that our world is not perfect. It is hard for me to explain yet, but the best way is:
When Baby Doll is not smiling and generally not happy, I feel as though I have failed, I feel drained , I feel I need to find a fix for her now ... even if there is not a fix.
When Baby Doll is smiling and Bubbly, I feel confident, I feel energized, I feel like nothing can stop Baby Doll and me.
I love you Baby Doll .... change is on the way ... I promise .... then I will be able to punish you anytime!!!
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